i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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