So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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