What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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