So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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