She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think a kid would responsible me up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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