Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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