A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your tits are I can't wait for
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
