I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
