The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
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you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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