break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
