Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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