I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
