At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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