you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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