Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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