Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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