I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
