Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
