he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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