He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
