I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
