Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
