i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
