He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize