Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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