bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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