Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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