I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
