hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize