is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
