Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
