i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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