Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
