We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
And then he peed in my hair
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