Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
