Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
they're like a gay fantastic four
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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