they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
