So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
