I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze