I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
