we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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