I bet he comes in French.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize