Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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