i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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