Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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