There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
