my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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