I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
