I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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