I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
sex in a hospital.. check
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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