your thong is hanging out like whoa
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
