Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
