i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So vagazzling was a success
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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