so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
