I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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