Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
