Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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