Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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